


Vampire Logics

by dangsu



Series: My Boyfriend's a Vampire Verse [2]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Vampires, buffer stuff for the rest of the verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:53:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25682332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangsu/pseuds/dangsu
Summary: frank has some questions about vampires.~~~alternative summary is; frank iero and mikey way do drugs and talk about vampires
Series: My Boyfriend's a Vampire Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859035
Kudos: 17





	Vampire Logics

**Author's Note:**

> since i'm making the My Boyfriends Sitter's a Vampire work into a series, I thought this little fic explaining the logistics of the way I portray vampires would be helpful. also I really just like writing about frank and mikey goofing off and doing dumb things platonically.

Frank was clueless when it came to vampires. He knew nothing and that was an issue seeing as he was dating a vampire. He didn’t want to ask Gerard about all the logistics of being a vampire, because Gerard was still sensitive about being a vampire. Gerard was also extremely inexperienced with being a vampire. But at the same time, Frank needed to know stuff about vampires. He needed to be prepared in his relationship with Gerard. So that left Frank with one option: ask Mikey Way.

Frank approached Mikey like he normally does, sliding into the seat across from him at lunch and discreetly asking questions. Mikey would make a face and either tell Frank the answer or tell Frank to fuck off. Today, Mikey did neither of those things. He just sighed.

“You wanna talk to me about ‘vampire stuff?’”, Mikey asked. He put air quotation marks around the ‘vampire stuff’.

“Yeah”, Frank responded.

“Okay. Gerard’s working the late shift at Wendy's today. Meet me at the house tonight”.

Frank nodded. He assumed it was going to be a long talk. 

***

Frank told his mom that he was spending the night again at Mikey’s. As far as Frank’s mom knew, Frank was really good friends with Mikey Way and that was it. There was no older secret boyfriend. The funny thing was that Frank’s mother actually encouraged Frank to spend time at Mikey’s. She had met Mikey once before at a school game and thinks Mikey is the shy nerdy type. Thank god Mikey had worn semi normal clothing that day and didn’t bring Gerard, because _that_ would change the game.

When Frank walked into the home he was hit with the pungent smell of weed. Frank was all too familiar with that smell and he sniffed it out to the living room. Mikey was on the couch watching the television with a joint in between his fingers and a vodka bottle placed on the table.

“Mikey?”, Frank asked. He hadn’t ever seen Mikey drink or smoke anything but cigarettes. That was mostly a Gerard thing.

Mikey looked at Frank surprised. “Oh. Shit, I forgot you were coming”. He scrambled to find the T.V. remote and shut the program off. “Wanna hit?”.

Frank grinned and made his way out of the doorway. He took a seat next to Mikey on the couch and took the joint from Mikey. He inhaled the smoke and felt as it filled his lungs. It’d been a long time since he smoked up. “I didn’t know you smoked?”, Frank asked.

Mikey shrugged. “Yeah, I guess”.

“Cause when I first met you, you were always not drinking and shit. Being responsible and like sober”, Frank continued on, letting his big mouth wander. “You seemed really responsible. Like my mom thinks you’re this nerdy senior boy who's a good influence on my deranged self.

“Did you mention we meet in junior biology”, Mikey said. He grabbed the joint back from Frank. “I’m addicted to nicotine, I skip school, and I’m a vampire. I don’t know what screams ‘good influence’ about me”.

Frank chuckled. Leave it to Mikey Way to still be sarcastic as hell even when he’s stoned. “It’s the glasses”, Frank explained. He leaned forward and tried to poke Mikey’s glasses to little avail. He ended up getting a sloppy slap to his palm instead. “Anyways, vampires”. 

“Vampires…”, Mikey repeated. He passed the joint back to Frank. Frank took it appreciatively and puffed on it. When he tried to pass it back Mikey stuck his hand up and instead grabbed the vodka. Frank nodded and finished the joint off with a few more hits.

Frank looked at Mikey. His glasses were hazy from the smoke and his eyes looked distant and pink. Mikey looked down at the vodka bottle and passed it to Frank. Frank took it appreciatively. “Go on, ask away”.

“Okay…”, Frank nodded. He thought about what he was gonna ask as he took a few sips from the bottle. That’s when he thought of the perfect question to ask. “How do vampires have sex?”, Frank paused, thinking about his next words carefully. “And I know they can”, he decided to add suggestively, referring to Gerard.

Mikey grimaced and groaned. “God Frank! Why are you so fucking nasty?”, he whined before snatching the vodka bottle back from Frank. Mikey took a good few shots before giving the bottle back. Frank just watched everything go down while laughing. It was fun to make Mikey mad.

“Having sex as a vampire is the same as having sex as a human”, Mikey spit. 

Frank just giggled. Getting a rise out of Mikey was so much fun. “Oh, yeah? And would _you_ know that?”, Frank teased, his words barley stringing along to form the sentence. He was definitely buzzed.

“Because I wasn’t a fucking virgin when I was sixteen like you were”, Mikey fought back. Frank stopped laughing.

“Sixteen is a perfectly fine age to lose your v-card, Mikey Way”, Frank scolded. He waved his finger in the air and pointed it at Mikey. “Now answer the question”.

Mikey rolled his eyes but smiled. “I did”, he answered while swaying back and forth a bit. “Any other questions?”.

“Yeah, if you’re all Vampires, why do you smoke?”

“Cause it looks cool.”

“Really?.”

Mikey sighed. “No, because when we died we were already addicted to these fuckers. It’s a habit that followed us to the grave”. Frank gave Mikey a confused look and Mikey sighed in return. “Our bodies function the same as when we were human. The only difference is we don’t make blood and don’t have health issues. So we can, you know, get drunk and have sex and stuff. And for the smoking, when we died we had the nicotine in our system so it continues over into death. And before you ask, no, I don’t need these glasses. I wear them so people like you don’t ask dumb questions about it.”

“How does that work? Like your body… making no blood?”.

“Fuck if I know. I’m a senior in junior Biology, remember?”.

Frank’s eyes widened. “Oh yeah”, he laughed. He didn’t know when but Mikey started to laugh too. Before they knew it they were both cracking up, stoned and buzzed. It took about five minutes for them to pull themselves back to normal.

“So…”, Mikey started. His eyes lit up mischievously. “Wanna headed to Wendeys and brother Gerard?”.

Frank beamed. “Let’s go”.


End file.
